Long dining tables, big cars, bunk beds and multiple pews on a Sunday are a must for dads with big families.
But as dads reflect on juggling career and kids this Father’s Day, The Catholic Weekly couldn’t help but ask—can dads have it all?
“Well, I think perhaps it’s more, ‘Can you have the things that matter?’ Your faith, family and work. And I think that you can,” said father of nine, Chris Meney.
The Chancellor of the Archdiocese of Sydney last weekend celebrated his 40th wedding anniversary alongside his children, grandchildren and friends.
“Sometimes you just ride the wave, hang onto the roller-coaster. You feel you don’t have too much influence on where it’s going.
“It’s exciting, joyful, unpredictable and messy. And that’s a great way to live a life.”
After nearly 40 years as a father, Chris has learned that children don’t generally expect perfection.
“If you show them an abundance of love, of care and interest in what they’re doing, then when you make mistakes, they don’t judge you harshly, they understand that you’re human.
“I make lots of mistakes but I’m trying to keep on doing what I think God wants me to do.”
“You have to allow all your children the freedom to go and do what they want and to take risks sometimes.”
President of Campion College Paul Morrissey never planned for a family of 11, but with each child has enjoyed new fruits from his vocation as a father. But that doesn’t mean there’s not lots of work to do.
“The washing is crazy. Cooking’s crazy. Cleaning up is crazy, but as long as everyone’s pitching in, it’s manageable really,” Paul said.
“As the children grow up, they’re all at different ages, they have different challenges. That’s the real juggling act.”
Paul attributes his success as a father to putting his marriage to his wife Soizic first.
They set aside time each week for each other, and to reflect on their family, and the needs of any particular children.
“The real little ones, they’re all more or less physical. Whereas as kids a bit older, there’s emotional needs,” he said.
Quality time with each child is more manageable than people think, but Paul gets creative.
“If I’m going up the shop quickly, I’ll tell one of them to come in the car and give me a hand so we can have some time together,” he said.
“To live one’s vocation as a father you need to be attached to the Lord’s model of one. It’s amazing how many graces come when our prayer life is strong.”
Aaron Cauchi, father of 13 children with wife Elizabeth, also puts prayer first. With God given his due priority, the rest falls into place naturally.
The chief operating officer for a facilities management company travels regularly for work but the couple have formed a formidable partnership and found a method to the madness.
“We talk multiple times a day when I’m traveling. I’ll always make sure just to check in on how she is,” Aaron said.
“Having the children hones our partnership because you’re constantly talking about where each of the kids are at, and what we need to do to help them.
“You certainly serve a long apprenticeship.
“You see what your parents have done, what’s worked and what hasn’t. Then you try and apply that to your own family.
“You have to have the confidence that God’s given you those children because you’re the best person to raise and prepare them for their vocation, whatever that is.”
His advice to Catholic dads aspiring to have a large family? Dispel the uncertainty.
“Many parents appreciate the responsibility they have as a father or mother, so don’t let that turn to doubt,” Aaron said.
“Don’t forget to also get out of the way sometimes. Let God do his work with the children as well.”