The
Catholic Weekly
Online
Sydney
18 January 2004
Home
Archive
Subscribe
Links
Contact
Pharmacists
saying ‘no’ to sale of pill
Organ donor plea
Irish festival
aids kids
29 die for Church
‘Powerful’ program
centres on Lenten themes
Marists on move
In
the pink (or baby blue?)
Wilde
times at Genesian
Lunch at the Talbot
Lord of the Rings
Historian who defied
adversity
Fr John ‘helped
thousands of souls’
Year to remember
Letters
Life without a
mask
The fear of disapproval
A
year of celebration
The Catholic Weekly
Goose bumps from
nuns’ Ave Maria
A
feast of faith
A hero at Glenrowan
Defence the key to Terra Sancta’s strategy
Nicola’s search for the perfect wave . . . at Bronte
College put George in volleyball’s courta
‘... cried for two years’
EASING THE GRIEF: Julie Kelly (left) with Melinda Tankard-Reist and Anne Hadgraft
After her abortion, Anne Hadgraft “went home and cried for two years”.
It was a traumatic period in her life that drove her to try to help other
women overcome
similar grief.
The 40-year-old mother of two teenagers says she was given no warning that
she may
experience such profound grief and was led to wonder if perhaps there were
other women out there who suffered in similar ways.
Recently Anne told her own story of anguish to a group of more than 50 women and a scattering of interested men at the Epping Club.
Melinda Tankard-Reist, author of Giving Sorrow Words, the first book on Australian women’s experience of post-abortion grief, also addressed the forum.
Melinda spoke of the hundreds of calls and letters she received after placing a few small advertisements in newspapers and magazines asking for stories in connection with this experience. Many of the women who called her thought that they would be the only ones.
She said they told stories of unrelenting grief and regret after desperately terminating a pregnancy when there was simply no-one to support or encourage them.
Julie Kelly, founder of Project Rachel, Australia, also spoke.
She told her story of a lifetime of
sadness after aborting her first conceived child at the age of
16, more than 40 years ago.
She said she had been so ashamed that it was more than 30 years
before she was able to speak of the trauma she had suffered
or the deep
sorrow she felt
about the loss of her baby.
Several years ago, while travelling in the US, Julie said she
discovered Project Rachel, a confidential ministry of counselling
support
which brings hope and
healing for women and men suffering in this way and decided
that this help was needed in Australia.
Project Rachel also provides two-day healing retreats which attend to the deep spiritual wounds that abortion often brings.
Matthew Smyth, a grief counsellor who specialises in post abortion work in the Liverpool area, spoke of the needs and concerns surrounding this healing work.
He brings many years of expertise in the field of grief counselling to this issue.
After the presenters spoke, Anne invited anyone from the audience to share their story and come forward to address the group.
She said she was astonished that seven women bravely came up and broke the silence of shame which so many feel. They spoke about their experiences of shame and grief after losing their babies by abortion.
Julie said they all told of the lack of any adequate
counselling before they made their decision.
“
Some of them had already found healing and peace through Project Rachel counselling
and the healing retreats and were able to encourage others to follow their
lead,” she said.
One of the women later wrote: “Thank you for your help and encouragement and for giving me the opportunity to meet the women at the forum.
“ I am still digesting the information and experiencing the emotions that go with it. I do know that I continued to cry all the way home Thursday evening and on and off since then.
“ I think this display of emotion tells me that something life changing happened to me and I have received a sign from God who is offering an opportunity to get onto a path that can provide healing and peace for the painful events of my life.
“ I am learning to listen to the callings of God. I see that there is a healing weekend in 2004, so I feel connected to the life rope.
“ I know about this now and nothing can change that, all I have to do is keep going with it like the women before me.”
Marea Crick, counselling skills development and assessment officer of the Australian Federation of Pregnancy Support Services Inc, also wrote: “What a very moving evening.
“ The sharing of the personal stories touched me deeply.
“ How courageous all the ladies were getting up in front of strangers and
being so honest and sharing such painful experiences.
“ But what hope there is for all those who have suffered and are going
through post abortion grief and trauma.
“ What an encouragement it is to see that it is finally being recognised
and help and support is available through many avenues.
“ It was very clear to me and others that there is no decision counselling
at any abortion clinic, only procedure counselling.
“ Sadly, it is presumed when you make an appointment that you have already
made a decision.”
For more information about Project Rachel, which is supported by the Catholic archdiocese of Sydney and the dioceses of Parramatta and Broken Bay, call (02) 9440 7980 (confidential voice mail) or send an email to rachel@d7design. com.au
You can visit the website www.d7design.com.au/rachel/ where you will also find details of the Project Rachel national conference, which will be held in February and is designed to help priests, religious and counselling professionals and others who work with people hurt by abortion.
If you would like to make a tax deductible donation, please make out a cheque
to Centacare (Project Rachel) and send it to:
Project Rachel,
PO Box 660,
St Ives, NSW 2075