Sydney
2 March 2003

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Food for lots of thought

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Three in one: A parish with something for everyone

The team relax over morning tea after a parish meeting in North Sydney presbytery

By Marilyn Rodrigues

"I often think, if you want to judge a parish, you judge it by how you care for the sick and the housebound," says Jesuit priest Fr Peter Quin, 73.

His busy, vibrant parish, which encompasses three churches: St Mary's, North Sydney; St Francis Xavier, Lavender Bay; and Our Lady Star of the Sea, Kirribilli, is doing quite well then.

Many of the parishioners are elderly, and the parish has a strong emphasis on making those who cannot get to Mass feel an important part of the community.

The main driving force is one of St Mary's pastoral associates, Michael Paxton.

"Michael has gathered a group of 40-50 lay people around him who go to visit the sick and the housebound and also take them communion," says Fr Peter.

Eucharistic ministers are sent forth with a pyx containing the precious contents at the end of Mass with a special blessing.

In return the recipients are asked to pray for the parish.

There is also a monthly healing Mass where the sick are offered anointing.

And, around Christmas time, Fr Peter writes each of them a short note.

Fr Peter is not only strong on ministry to the sick.

He has tailor-made a marriage program and a mother-and-baby support group program.

The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults has been given a special slant too, as have infant baptisms.

In his 11 years as the parish priest Fr Peter has sought out the needs of his community and built up a lay team around him to help tend to them.

"We work as a team and Fr Peter is good at delegating," says Carmen Murphy.

She and her husband, Michael, form a little team in themselves to run the Lavender Bay church.

Michael is the pastoralassociate; Carmen the administrator.

As well as the church they also have the St Francis Xavier retirement village, which has 30 self-care units.

The work is "very challenging, very busy", says Carmen.

"There's much variety and much life and we have a wonderful parish priest.

"Fr Peter is really good because he lets us make the decisions, although we often consult him."

Carmen and GenineD'Arcy, the other pastoral associate at St Mary's, explain that each church has its own pastoral team who meet to nut out the needs and workings of each one.

Fr Peter is always on hand to attend important meetings at each church.

"Each has its own identity even though we are one parish," says Carmen.

Genine sees this style of parish life as "the way of the future" because of the smaller number of priests compared with past generations.

Ursuline Sr Loretta Rossen is the pastoral associate at Our Lady Star of the Sea.

The parish tends to do everything in its own distinctive way: helped along by the fact that Fr Peter is supported in his initiatives by his Jesuit community - six priests - and committed laity.

"The parish has a very healthy sacramental life," says Fr Peter.

For example:

NEW ARRIVALS

Last year almost 30 people became part of the Catholic Church through its Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults program.

Michael Murphy and Michael Paxton run the parish's RCIA program, which they've "tailored a bit".

"We see each person individually with their sponsor, mostly on the weekends," says Michael Murphy.

"We don't do it in groups, because the people who come to us are all so different; we have to be flexible."

Infant baptisms are also done with a personal touch.

Fr Peter has eschewed a common practice of doing several baptisms at once.

"We have close to a dozen single baptisms every weekend; some at Lavender Bay and some at St Mary's," he says.

"Every one is personal and the community, the Church (that gathers) then, is the family and friends."

There is also a large sacramental program for primary school aged children to receive Reconciliation, First Holy Communion and Confirmation, run by Michael Paxton and Genine D'Arcy.

MARRIAGE PROGRAM

"I do over 100 marriages every year," says Fr Peter.

"This weekend I have six. February and March is a busy time for them."

Couples know the priest and their peers in the community very well by the time they get to the altar.

Every Tuesday night Fr Peter hosts an engaged couples night at the Lavender Bay parish centre.

Four couples each week are invited to dinner and each brings a different course.

It is the beginning of a series of three dinners for each couple plus instruction led by Fr Peter. He also refers them to other pre-marriage counselling as well.

"I tell them you can never be too prepared for marriage," he says.

"I keep in touch with them after they are married.

"Each year we have a barbecue and a Mass and 300-400 people come. We have jumping castles and things like that so the kids have a ball.

"I now run local dinners about once a month, too, where I ring up and invite people who live in a particular local area to come to a restaurant with me.

"I make it about six o'clock so they can come with their children and I have 20 or 30 families come in one go.

"Then we have a ball every second or third year, where every girl has to wear her wedding dress or part thereof.

"The main benefit is that they help each other tremendously," says Fr Peter.

MOTHER-AND-BABY SUPPORT GROUP

"The couples started having babies and I asked if I could be of any help," he says.

"I had psychotherapists in the parish who are experts in mother and baby relationships and so we got together and got a group of mothers with their babies, to sit around and share … and gradually problems come up about sleep and about feeding and about their sexuality.

"That was so successful that we decided to go professional and so now it has become the Parents Infant Foundation of Australia."

WOMEN'S NIGHT OF SPIRITUALITY

This is now in its 10th year.

Up to 1200 women have gone along to hear the likes of Kathryn Greiner, Geraldine Doogue, Caroline Jones, Paula Duncan and Sydney University's Jenny Gribble talk about their own lives and spirituality and discuss where they find God in their lives and work.

DIALOGUE

This is a forum for young adults where speakers, often high profile, are invited to talk on current faith issues. It is held each month at Lavender Bay.

PEOPLE

The parish is made up of a large number of professional people - judges, solicitors, doctors, dentists - and many elderly people.

"North Sydney has lost a lot of its young families, first because of the freeway that cut right through a lot of families, and second because North Sydney is a very big city now," says Fr Peter.

"A lot of our families are from Wollstonecraft or Waverton and many of them now are older families. We have very few families with children in our parish.

"Kirribilli is a highly dense area, all high rise, so at Star of the Sea there are no families there, and Lavender Bay has very few.

"We have quite a few singles, a lot of them 'passing trade' because there are a lot of rental properties, mostly apartments, and once they marry and have children the place is too small for them," he says.

Fr Peter is grateful for the great resources of time and knowledge that the parishioners bring to their parish.

He also concedes that he is able to do such a lot because it is a relatively well-off parish.

In this it is helped most by the income generated from three car parks it owns.