Conversation: Fr John Harvey, founder of Courage - You need friends if you want a life of chastity

Sydney
9 February 2003

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Conversation: Fr John Harvey, founder of Courage - You need friends if you want a life of chastity

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Conversation: Fr John Harvey, founder of Courage - You need friends if you want a life of chastity

By Marilyn Rodrigues

Fr John Harvey (pictured) looks and sounds amazingly bright and chipper after just two hours proper sleep in about two days.

The founder of Courage - spiritual support groups for people with same sex attraction - began his whirlwind national tour (January 29-February 12) with one day in Sydney.

He hit the ground running at the airport at sunrise and squeezed in his power nap between press and radio interviews.

The day ended late, with a public talk at St Mary's Cathedral Hall during which he was first sniggered at and then periodically shouted down by hecklers bolstered by an organised demonstration outside.

Fr John, an Oblate of Francis de Sales, from Philadelphia, seemed only slightly rattled.

"I am 84, but I keep going because I think the work is so important," he says.

Australian bishops support his visit.

Fr John was accompanied on his Sydney mission by a practising clinical psychologist and Catholic, Mr Peter Rudegeair, who "makes a real effort to integrate Catholic theology and spirituality with psychological insight".

They worked in tandem: First Fr John presented the theological arguments against homosexual acts, plus information on Courage; then Mr Rudegeair shared his observations from his clinical practice on the possible causes and potential treatment of homosexual orientation.

"One thing we have to be careful to avoid is the idea that we do the same thing," says Fr John.

"Some people ask us for professional help (in overcoming their same sex attraction); we refer them to people like Peter Rudegeair.

"Courage is about the practice of interior chastity, not about therapy.

"For us, the most important change of all is from lust to chastity, not from a homosexual orientation to a heterosexual one."

That statement would come as a surprise for those of his critics who cannot separate the Church's distinction between a person with a same sex attraction and homosexual acts.

The Pontifical Council for the Family supports Courage, which was founded by Fr John at the request of Cardinal Terence Cook of New York in 1980.

Further inspiration for Courage's work came with the 1986 document by the Sacred Congregation for the Faith: Letter to the Roman Catholic Bishops of the World on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons.

"Courage is a support group which is a direct result of the Church's teaching," says Fr John.

"I never talk about Courage until I talk about the Church's teaching; you must have a solid basis for why you are asking people to be chaste."

He is a pioneer in the pastoral care of homosexual Catholics, but he became involved in the area almost by default.

As a seminary teacher in moral theology he missed presenting a component on homosexuality as part of the pastoral theology course because he ran out of time.

His students failed the two relevant questions on their exams and Fr Harvey was pulled up and firmly asked to cover it next time.

"I knew nothing about it, so I spent three days a week for 4-6 weeks in the library reading everything they had on the subject," he says.

"Once I read it I thought I had to write an article on it for the sake of other priests."

The article, The Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, was published in March 1955; it later became the title of his first book.

"After that I said I'll never write another book on the subject; I didn't want to be known as 'the homosexual priest'," saysFr John.

But he was encouraged by others to keep on going and spent two summers researching, which resulted in five more articles and a growing profile.

He began counselling in the area and was soon asked to run retreats for priests who had asked for help with chastity.

Then came the request from Cardinal Cook and a similarly inspired priest, Fr Benedict Groeschel, to go to New York.

Five people turned up to the first weekly Courage meeting. It soon doubled; the numbers continue to grow.

Courage is the only organisation within the Church that facilitates support groups for people with same sex attraction guided by the principles of Church teaching.

Homosexual people who want to remain true to the Catholic faith must live a life of chastity - it is not just an imposition placed on them but something that we are all called to anyway, says Fr John.

"You need good friends if you want to maintain a life of chastity. We are body and soul; we need the help and support of people around us," he says.

Courage preaches interior chastity (an attitude or "prayer of the heart") over mere exterior chastity, or what he calls 'whiteknuckle chastity'.

People struggling with chastity need first take their difficulties to prayer, he says.

"There you begin to realise that you can have a relationship with Christ and begin to form good friendships with people who feel the same way and want to come close to Christ," he says.

"As St Augustine says, if you try to be chaste on your own you'll never make it."

Still, even with all the help in the world it is difficult, says Fr John.

"The external power of the gay movement, and all the temptations that go with it - all the temptations that come from media, and from the Internet - mean that it's not easy.

"We wouldn't even try to do it if we didn't believe in the grace of God."

There are Courage groups in 60 different dioceses across the US.

It has spread to Canada, England, Ireland, the Philippines, Poland, New Zealand and Australia.

Small groups of mainly young men and women meet each week with a chaplain to talk about their struggles and successes and provide moral support for each other.

They are kept small to encourage the small group peer support dynamic.

Prayer and scripture are a major focus, too.

Courage is a grassroots organisation; new groups only form ifpeople with same sex attraction make a request for one in their area.

Its members follow the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, with permission, and also the five goals of Courage, which Fr John asked the first members to write.

The goals cover a commitment to prayer and the sacraments, chastity and Church teaching, and fostering a spirit of fellowship and friendship so that no member struggles alone.

An offshoot peer support group for the relatives and friends, called Encourage, began in 1990 in response to the fact that many of the calls to Courage came from parents.

"The usual scenario is that their daughter or son, aged 25-35, is already living with someone else and the parents are heartbroken," says Fr John.

After his first talk in Sydney one person came up to shake his hand, thank him profusely and wish him every blessing in his ministry.

He said he lived more than a two-hour drive away and intended to do some follow up reading that Fr John had recommended.

He apologised for the hecklers.

But Fr John says he has infuriated people before by preaching chastity for people with same sex attraction.

"I have never been physically attacked or threatened, but I have been viciously verbally attacked," he says.

"I try to avoid conflict, try to keep a low key; in that I try to follow the spirituality of Francis de Sales."

The Sydney contact for Courage is Lynn Ryan, Tel: (02) 9390 5165, email: courage@pacific.net.au or visit the website www.couragerc.net